In the knowing of you 

I realized today that we just aren’t going to do things that we don’t want to do. We are where we are,

Doing what we are doing,

Maybe not because we want to, but because we don’t want to do something else. 
Maybe we don’t know what this something else is. 

We should find out. 

Maybe we know what the something else is, but don’t know why we don’t do it. 

We should find out. 
It’s pointless to say, I don’t want to be here. Because you are there. How could you want to be anywhere else?

Saying, I don’t know why I do this is really just the same as saying, I’m not going to do anything different. 

Not doing anything is always doing something. 
I re read that and can’t get my brain to wrap around it in an intellectual way….but I get it deep and in my bones. And the realization haunts me. It mindfucks me.  So you would be wise to know it. 

What you don’t do is doing you. 

I love you. And you’re young and beautiful soul deep. So be in the knowing of you and the doing of the same. 

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  1. #1 by Matt Rupert on October 8, 2015 - 8:08 am

    Melissa,

    I’m sitting at work day dreaming, reminiscing about this and that when your name comes to mind. I wonder how you are and if life has been kind to you. I’ve thought of you often over the past 12 years, but I never knew how to get in touch with you or if you’d even want to hear from me. I hope that you don’t mind that I scoured the internet to find you. I just wanted to say hello and to let you know that I miss my friend. I hope you are well… I hope that you are happy.

    Quite literally thinking of you,

    Matt Rupert

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