It’s all about the release. I’m all about the release. And now, for whatever reason, this little blurb I’m going to blurble, is blurbed out. It started in my mind, escaped my mouth and then sat in my mind, spinning in circles for two days. This is the best I can do for now…But I can feel something more and deeper within…Yet, This had to come out. Two days ago the bullet hit the chamber.
Pull the trigger.
In a firearm the trigger is what causes the bullet to fire. You intentionally pull the trigger in order to release the bullet from the chamber. If the bullet fails to fire, it’s called a misfire- This is when the bullet doesn’t leave the chamber, or worse, when it leaves in the wrong direction- a backfire- and maims the shooter.
Chamber: What holds the bullet. (you/your heart)
Trigger: The thing that causes a release. (Yet we use it as a self imposed limit!)
Bullet: The thing that needs to be released. (Blocked energy/past/outdated story of “me”)
The idea of “triggers” in the psychological sense is something I not only understand, but have experienced as well. Things that “trigger” my reactions, responses, memories, and at one time, uncontrollable flashbacks, etc, through (what I assumed) was no choice of my own. And that bothered me- both the triggers and the feeling that I had no choice. It occurred to me that I couldn’t believe in one idea but not the other. Since I no longer support the defeated notion of, “I have no choice”, I had to question the notion of the trigger. The word “Trigger” has always bothered me, as a matter of fact, I never use the term in reference to myself out loud if at all. I prefer the word ‘catalyst’ because it carries more forward motion connotations. People will warn “This could be a possible trigger.” and I immediately feel confined, restricted, limited, but never released. I had to stop and ponder that reaction.
People tell me what their triggers are, and what those triggers, trigger in them I find myself asking, what is it you’re trying so hard to hold onto? Consider the definitions of trigger, one is to release and the other is to stimulate. They stop us cold in our tracks. You have determined that you will be stimulated and what will stimulate you. You have even determined how it will stimulate you. You’ve told yourself, this will trigger me, and so it does. Nothing is released. It usually explodes in some negative way; a reaction, memory, train of thought, addictive behavior…
Take your finger off of the trigger.
Now, consider the definition of a misfire- a propulsive charge that fails to ignite at the proper time, to miss an intended effect. The intended effect of the trigger is to release the object from where it is lodged. So, if the same trigger keeps causing you to have the same reaction, then isn’t your reaction to it, and your inability to release what it triggers, really a misfire of life? Do we even want to see how many fingers we’ve lost to misfires?
If you can determine what will “trigger” you, why not determine that you will be released by it as well?