making plans

The other night I had a dream. I want to describe it to you, but I can’t. I let too much time go by. I didn’t write it down. I sent myself a text message in the middle of the night- had I not done that, we wouldn’t be having this chat now. Why didn’t I journal it? I don’t know. Because I don’t like to journal. I hate it actually. I used to love it. I should figure this out. Journalling is imperative. After all, I can’t tell YOU everything…

So, the dream.

All I can tell you is this. The Voice said the following words to me and in the dream, while I was dreaming, I kept telling myself,

“Don’t worry. You’ll remember this.”

But The Voice kept saying,

“No, you won’t. Wake up and write it down. Send a message. It’s important!”

So I text myself.

“Our future plans have no problems. Our problems have future plans.”

Do you get it? I didn’t at first. It’s too simple. Too accountable. And the Queen was stumbling all over herself saying if she couldn’t understand it then it didn’t make sense…but it does. On what I call the ‘soul level’, I only had to read it once and my self got it right away. I knew I had just made another little shift. They’re never major anymore, but permanent now. I love that. Our future plans have no problems…Here’s the thing. Of course they don’t. Technically you can’t have future plans. All you have is now and there is no plan. That’s another ‘soul level’ thing, but I know you get it. Since we spend so much time operating from the human/head level though, let’s’ work with it.

“Our future plans have no problems.”

Projecting into the future isn’t healthy. Having goals, dreams, etc. is fine, but projecting is different. Projecting is when you take what was (the past) or what may be (your interpretation of things) and call it the future. It isn’t. Stop doing that. It’s not good for you. There’s enough drama in the world and enough people in the world willing to share their drama without you contributing to the internal mess you’ve got going on inside of you. It’s a small battle in the war. Wage it. Win it. The future is a possibility. Marianne Willimason says that faith isn’t blind, it’s visionary. So is the future. Visionary. I love that word. That’s what the future is. If you find that the future starts looking a whole lot like the past…If today you project tomorrow and then say that yesterday looked just like that, THAT’S projection. Simplify…You’re seeing tomorrow through the eyes of yesterday. You see everything through the past. Nothing can happen now if you’re always looking at “back then”. Get it?

Shush. Your soul is shifting and your heart is listening.

“Our problems have future plans.”

It’s our problems that we let run the show. We let them run the future. We make them the future. We fret and stress and seethe…And then we create. We imagine. We manifest. We breed the circumstances needed to create the situation that will achieve the very outcome we say we don’t want. That’s drama baby! That’s the Queen! But this is NOT her kingdom. Our problems have nothing if they don’t have us. Do you understand that? Without you to support, feed, create, plant and nurture, they are nothing. Oh my love, I’m sorry, but it’s YOU. Maybe not ‘self’, but we’re all living in the same kingdom.

The Voice was very clear that I get this message to me. Now I have it. Now I have to live it. That’s always the trick. Living what we know. Leading by example. Loving when we fall and rise and walk and crawl. Loving that no matter how we travel- at a sprint…at a crawl…dragging our newly handed asses along behind us, limping and missing one shoe…no matter- just loving that we keep moving and that at last we aren’t moving in circles.

Your future plans have no problems. Now listen to me and ditch the problems with future plans. It’s the only way. Down with the Queen. Off with her head! No. Wait! I’m still not sure I want to kill her. I think maybe she belongs here. Hmmmmm. An epiphany? What drives out the darkness? How do we rise above? We transcend. Let her live. I think I see a resurrection story coming on.

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  1. #1 by Running from Hell with El on January 3, 2013 - 10:04 pm

    For reasons that make absolutely no rational sense to me, I almost cried when I read this. My soul gets what you’re saying, on a really super-deep fundamental level. SO simple but so fucking hard. Thought must direct feeling. Thought must direct feeling. So close.

    • #2 by foundedna on January 3, 2013 - 10:09 pm

      i’ve already corrected and re corrected. i know what you mean. it took me til now to write this after i told you about it. so last night i’m laying in bed and looking out the window at night and cold and winter…and i think of this phrase and I cry. just like you. because i really got it. and then i thought…winter is my waiting. and i cried some more. living is the hardest thing we ever do because we are programmed to die- not the death that leads to life, but the death that leaves us cold and without threat. I wish to be a threat. a force. a life worth living.
      also, I love you.

      • #3 by Running from Hell with El on January 4, 2013 - 6:28 am

        “We are programmed to die not to live.” Yes. Remember Bladerunner? One of my alltime favorite movies. It is only when we embrace that fact that we can really live, but it’s so painful, so freakin’ painful to think that death brings only coldness. And yet I believe in heaven. Really I do. I must. Or else there’s only coldness. And I you.

      • #4 by foundedna on January 4, 2013 - 6:59 am

        I believe you are heaven my friend. We seek what we are. Remember the saying- I searched for god and found only myself. I searched for myself and found god. You are heaven.

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